Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Did you hear about the Spanish ocean?
Si.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
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