Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What do you call a deer in a storm?
A raindeer
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
I stopped my phones to the cloud, and I kept getting mist calls.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What do you see when an elephant hides behind a tree?
The trunks
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
I had a rainbow for lunch. I'm trying to eat light.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
The insane amount of rainfall in Poland did not lead the river to flood, all was in Oder.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
Go to BabaMail
