What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
What did the diamond say to its friend copper? Nothing, silly, minerals don’t talc!
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
They told me they were handing out free beef at the beach...
When I arrived I realized it was a bay-con.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
Girls just wanna have sun.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano?
I really lava you!
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Most people have off on Independence Day. Except fire.
Fire-works on 4th of July.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
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