Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Shell yeah.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
What does Santa often say to Mrs Claus? Come and look at the rain-dear.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday
They say it's because I took a day off.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
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