Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Did you hear of the story of the tornado? There is a twist at the end.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What happens when you go to the beach in hell?
You get a SaTan.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
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