The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
Don’t ask me for any tree puns.
Acacia haven’t noticed I’m all out.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Why was there lightning and thunder in the lab?
The scientists were brainstorming.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
What is the difference between a chemist and a geologist? While a geologist will drink anything fermented, a chemist just
drinks anything that is distilled.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
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