I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Feeling fintastic.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
What do you call an Irish gem that’s a fake?
A sham rock.
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
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