Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky
"Wow!" I say. "It's climate change!"
Finally put up the Christmas tree...
It really spruced up the room.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Girls just wanna have sun.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
Rivers are...
the original streaming service.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
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