What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
There’s two balloons in the desert. One says look out for that cactus!
The other goes What Cactussssss...
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Beach you to it.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Accordion
Accordion who?
Accordion to the forecast, it's going to rain tonight.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
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