What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
Salty but sweet.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
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