This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why did the fisherman suddenly redirect his boat?
Just for the halibut.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
Q: What did the cloud say to the lightning bolt?
A: You're shocking!
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What words do windmills live by? One good turn deserves another!
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
Why did the boy soon stop trying to grab the mountain fog? Because he always mist.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Sea you at the beach.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
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