I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Don't get tide down.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
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