Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
The wind is following a new workout program. It’s called air conditioning.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
My dad refused to accept that he was not hiking in a mountain called Mt. McKinley
He was in Denali.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
My cat just cut the grass.
She's a lawn meower.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Are you squiding me right now?
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