Tis the sea-sun.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Shell yeah.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
What did the wise papa fish tell his son?
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
It's ok to be negative if you find yourself in a thunderstorm.
You probably won't get struck by lightning.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
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