Over the years, my neighbour has buried his deceased pets in his backyard, and to his surprise, a plant has sprung up.
It's a Cemer Tree.
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
I sang the rainbow song to a cop yesterday.
They arrested me for colorful language.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Two fish were swimming in a stream when it began to rain.
One fish said, “Quick, let’s swim under that bridge, otherwise we will get wet!”
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What did the chicken do when his shop caught on fire?
He egg-xited..
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
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