What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
During a family discussion, my father said that grass is not greener than other plants. No one should make a biased grass-umption like that.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
I hope it doesn’t rain Halloween night.
That would dampen spirits.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
My father decided to mow the lawn today. As he mowed, all the grass blade.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice
It was cold hard cash.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Q: What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A: Fowl weather.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
My sister said I would never be able to make a beach pun.
Is seashore about that?
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Dad has a pet snake that eats the grass in his yard.
It's a lawnboa.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
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