It's been a while since I heard jokes about people sitting on wet morning grass.
They're over dew.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
The dock keeps floating above the river because of the pier- pressure.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
A guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines so I called the cops.
He must belong to an extreme mist organization.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Why do skeletons hate how wind feels? Because it goes right through them!
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
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