I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
How do Eskimos make their beds?
With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
I was gonna make a river joke, but I don't think it's current.
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
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