Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What is the most depressed river in Southern Europe? The Crimea River.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
A man went to the gym today and met up with his new personal rainer.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Why is the ocean always blue?
Because the shore never waves back.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Tis the sea-sun.
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
A disappointed Dad tells a knock-knock joke to his teenage son: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're a mountain." "You're a mountain, who?" "You're a mountain to nothing, son!"
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Q: Why does a hurricane wear a monocle?
A: It has only had one eye!
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Seas the day.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
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