What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
During our journey through the savanna grasslands, we kept track of time with the help of an hour-grass.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
How many colors are in the rainbow? I haven't got a blue.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
How do you learn more about spiders that live in the rainforest? Check out their web site!
Why did the tectonic plates break up? It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why do trees always walk so slowly? All they can do is lumber around.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
How can you tell that the ocean is friendly? It waves!
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Feeling fintastic.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
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