If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
I'd cut the grass but it's against the lawn.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
My wife wanted to plant flowers
Problem is she hasn’t botany.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
I can sea clearly now.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you call a boy swimming at the beach?
Buoyancy.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
Seas the day.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
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