What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
If the sun shines while it’s snowing, what should you look for?
Snowbows.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
Why did the fold get arrested?
Because it was caught rolling a joint.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why do trees like to watch Star Trek? They really relate to the Captain’s log.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
They figured it was the best way to break the ice.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
Whale, hello there.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
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