I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
What types of books do pines read? Poetree books.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
What is the color of the wind? Blew!
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
What do we call a flock of sheep that tumbles down a mountain? They are called a lamb-slide.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
When the husband of the queen gets back to his palace after climbing the mountain, the queen says "Hi, King!"
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
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