What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned up empty?
It a-piers we have a problem.
Are you a cactus?
Because you're a prick
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
Bernadette.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
My Dermatologist was fired today...
He made too many rash decisions.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Why did the toddler chew on pebbles? He wanted to eat rock candy.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
What did the motivational speaker say?
Don’t take life for granite.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Why are we only concerned about snowmen not snowwomen?
Because only men are stupid enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Everyone said the wind was powerful. So, I went outside and was blown away.
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