Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Having a dirt yard instead of grass is a bold move...
But having a giant rock is boulder.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Q: What do you call a row of 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
I had a dream the ocean was filled with orange soda
It was a Fanta sea.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the gold say to the pyrite? You’re a fool and a fake!
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Go to BabaMail
