Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Why did the River need Jesus? It was dammed.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair who keeps getting struck by lightning?
A handicapacitor.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What does Santa Claus say when he flies through a rainbow? Hue hue hue, merry Christmas!
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Q: Why did the wind turbine blush?
A. It broke wind.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
I can sea clearly now.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Beach, please.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
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