Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Please excuse my resting beach face.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
What's the wind's favourite colour?
Blew
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Sorry for raining on your parade, I really thought it'd be snow problem.
What do you get when you plant a Donut?
A pastree.
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
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