My neighbors house got struck by lightning.
It hit close to home.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
What do Snowmen call their offspring?
Chill-dren.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
I tried to make it to the end of the rainbow but didn't due to lilac of effort.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Did you hear about the guy whose spouse was hit by lightning?
His entire wife flashed before his eyes.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What's the name of the funniest mountain range in the world? The Himhilarious.
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Feeling fintastic.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
Why did the worm cross the ruler?
To become an inchworm
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
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