What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Sea you at the beach.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do call a cactus which is shaped like a penis
Dildon’t.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What do you call a nice tree that does not have any teeth? Sweetgums.
Bill’s house was rocking last night, everyone got stoned.
Too bad Bill didn’t have avalanche insurance.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
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