Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
How did the fire ant feel after the rain storm flooded his home?
Very put out, indeed!
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What tree makes fruit that tastes a lot like chicken? Poultree.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
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