What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
The storm was sad so we called it the sigh-clone.
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
Rivers are...
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Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Q: What is a cloud's favorite reptile?
A: A blizzard.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Why can’t minerals ever lie?
They’re always in their pure form.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
How does a bee travel to a tree? They get on the buzz.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What do you call an old snowman? A creek.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
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