Why wouldn’t the squirrel collect the oak’s acorns today? She called in sick and then went to the beech.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
Why did the girl walk into the ice cream store with an umbrella?
She heard there were going to be sprinkles
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What is the tree’s least favorite month of the year? SepTIMBERRRR.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
A man once said when is Monday coming? His wife said Mon-soon.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Salty but sweet.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head because it's capsized.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
If I could change the periodic table, I would put Uranium and Iodine next to each other.
What did the cloud say to the rainbow? Thank you for adding color to my day.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
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