How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
I was hiking with my friend in the woods and bear attacked him
It was unbearable to watch
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
Lost at sea? I'm not shore.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
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