What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What do you call a chicken that was struck by lightning?
Air fried.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
I read a bunch of news articles dealing with lightning strikes recently.
I'm trying to keep myself knowledgeable about current events.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
What did the snowman order at Wendy’s?
A Frosty.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
I stole fire from the gods.
But I couldn't fence it. It was too hot.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
Shell yeah.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
What do you call a slow skier?
A slopepoke!
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
How does a Snowman get to work?
By icicle.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Q: How do you stop newspapers from flying away on windy days?
A: Use a news anchor!
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
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