What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why do trees make the worst enemies?
Because they are the best at throwing shade.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
A pilot friend of mine took the flight exam and flew past a rainbow. No wonder, he passed with flying colors.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
Why don’t elephants go to the beach?
Because their trunks always fall down.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
Salty but sweet.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What side of the tree contains the most leaves? The outside, of course.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
Why was the bucket so embarrassed at the beach?
Because of how pail it was.
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Avoid pier pressure.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
What do you call a big fish that makes you an offer you can’t refuse?
The Codfather.
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