How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pickle
Pickle who?
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother!
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
What is fire to a pyromaniac?
Just a warm-up.
It was pretty foggy outside today.
I shot an arrow in the air, and it stuck.
I recently got offered a job studying fog but I turned it down.
Looking back, I now think it was a mist opportunity.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What did the retired pirate say when he went to the beach?
Long time no sea.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?
I guess you can say the baby was airborne
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did the flower say to the flower next to him? Move over bud!
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
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