Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
What is the trees favorite fruit? Pine-apple.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
Sorry, I'm octopied.
I wanted make a joke about the ocean, but it's too deep
Water you doing?
Where do saplings go to learn?
Elementree school
Girls just wanna have sun.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
What’s every ice cream parlor owner’s side hustle?
Sundae school teacher.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
I heard there are some fires near Greece
We’re gonna need a lot of baking soda.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Q: Why was the cloud not allowed to cross the border?
A: Because it was a for-rainer
Salty but sweet.
The clients who buy from our gardening store are grass-ured that the artificial lawn grass would not lose its color with use.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Shell yeah.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What do you call a negative fog?
A pessimist.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
It was hot today and when I went outside I saw there was a line of guys standing outside the hairdressers. I thought to myself, "Such a lovely day to have a barber queue".
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
When were rock puns the funniest?
During the stone age.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
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