How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
What happens when you’re alone and you get too cold.
You’re totally ice-olated.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What did Sherlock Holmes say to Watson when he noticed sandstone deposits on the river bank? "It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Water you doing?
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
What did the tree tell the drill? You bore me.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
One time, while visiting a river town, my brother was hungry and I fed him freshly made stream buns.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
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