I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Beach, please.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
The evil King of Weatherland only had one favorite weather - hail, storm.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
I went to a restaurant and had a salad. Afterward, I got an intense pain in my stomach. I visited the doctor and he told me that I had grass-troentiritis.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
I used to make loads of money clearing leaves from lawns. I was raking it in.
Why did the aspen date the poplar? She really found him to be in-tree-guing.
What happens when and ice cube gets angry?
It boils with anger, then lets off some steam.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing it just waved.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
I couldn't go out because of the blizzard. So I had to eat storm-ed buns for dinner.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
Feeling fintastic.
What did the tornado say to the washing machine?
Want to go for a spin?
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom.
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.