Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a shark for biting all his limbs off?
He didn’t have a leg to stand on.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
Why did the banana tree have to make a doctor’s appointment during the hurricane? Her fruit was peeling under the weather.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Sorry, I'm octopied.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
I was at the beach and saw this guy in the water yelling, “Help, shark! Help!
I just laughed because I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
What do you call a periodic table when the gold is missing?
Au revoir.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
If H20 is water, then what is H204? It’s for drinking, washing and swimming, of course!
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
Why is the ocean so salty?
Because the land never waves back.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
I used to search for clams on the beach
But then I pulled a mussel.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Sea you at the beach.
When I arrived onset on a cloudy, dreary day, too many actors had been hired for the small part...
It was overcast.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
What did the tree say after someone hit it? We should really call the copse.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
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