How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice?
Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
My dad's nickname is lightning.
That way I can tell my friends I've been struck by lightning multiple times.
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What type of diet did the snowman go on?
The Meltdown Diet.
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king?
Our souls will rain forever.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Neighbor Dad 1: How often do you cut the grass? Your lawn looks so much better than mine!
Neighbor Dad 2: That's on a need to mow basis.
What did the ocean say when asked if he wanted to be friends with the beach?
“Shore!”
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
There’s an old oak near my house that’s always surrounded by fog.
I don’t know why, it’s a mist tree.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What sort of ball doesn’t bounce?
A snowball!
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What did the nut tree say when his wife left him? I walnut stand for this!
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
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