What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it was a guy it would be the misterssippi River.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
When the rainbow decided to speak out at the meeting of all weathers, someone said 'Look hue's talking.'
What did the river sue for?
Beaver damage.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky
This much is plane to sea
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
My friend asked me how big the ocean is.
I said "can you be more Pacific?"
My grandpa used to cut the grass before he died
but he has been lawn gone.
I was struggling to find out how lightning works. And then it struck me.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Q: Why did the tornado take a break?
A: Because it ran out of wind!
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
Why are mountains always sleepy? Because they n-Everest.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
My friends were talking about what different colours grass they preferred.
I told them they were being gracist.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
A good friend of mine fell into a vaporiser and died.
She is sadly mist.
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