What’s a bigamist?
It’s what Italians call a thick fog.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Q: Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?
A: It was feeling mis-thunder-stood.
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
Why are trees a popular Christmas decoration? They look good in boughs.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
The river turned out to be a great party guy because he just went with the flow.
A little boy asks his dad, “Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?”
The dad replies, “Yes, son, the sky is pretty blue.”
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
What did the snowman eat?
Icebergs with chilli sauce.
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
What do you call a storm that's raining cats and dogs?
A furricane
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
Rainbows are very uncommon, they are blue and far between.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
How are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
Fancy a climb? Mount me in.
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