Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
My wife drives like lightning.
I don't mean she drives fast - she hits trees.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
This is too much pressure!
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
Helsinki.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
A magician wearing a rainbow colored coat is called Hue-dini.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Why were the spruces in a group of three? They like to travel as a tree-o.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
What do you call someone with Yellow hair on the beach?
A beach blond.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What did Sherlock Holmes say when he caught the Christmas tree bandit? It was elemen-tree, my dear Watt-son.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
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