What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
Where do birch trees keep their jewelry? In the river bank.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
What did the cactus wear with their suit?
A cactie.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
I have a good nature joke but after listening to it, everyone just leaves.
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
Why do cows eat grass?
I mean, someone has to moo the lawn.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Sea you at the beach.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
What did the tuna say to her overzealous partner?
I think we need to scale things back here.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
Why are geologists great dates?
They can make your bedrock.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
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