What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
I thought I saw some fog yesterday.
But I guess my memory’s a little cloudy.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind full of sand?
A: A rough draft
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why did the forest ranger never put their tent between fires
because if they did the tents would be in a across fire
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
After being stuck in the ice storm all day long, the man said, "I am starving. Can I avalanche?"
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
My mind works like lightning.
One brilliant flash and it's gone.
My wife was watching me do some DIY and she said I hammer like lightning.
I never strike in the same place twice.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
Life's a beach. Enjoy the waves.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
eople say they never get hungry at the beach
That’s because there’s sand, which is everywhere.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
"Someone's stolen the grass from my garden," said the man looking forlorn.
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why are leaves always getting into risky business? They keep having to go out on a limb.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What do you call an 'O' on fire?
Flamingo.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
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