Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
Who carries out operations in a river? A sturgeon.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
Why did the fisherman start doing drugs?
Pier pressure.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What do you call a snowman that tells tall tales?
A snow-fake!
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Are you squiding me right now?
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
What do you call a snowman on rollerblades?
A snowmobile.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
What type of pants do rain clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
My glasses may be fogged up, but don’t worry I’ll be fine.
I’m optimistic!
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
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