What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
Rock was magma before it was cool.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school? A skipping stone!
What do snowmen do on Christmas?
Play with the snow angels.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
The mountain got promoted because he was at the peak of his career!
What is the the chemical formulation for candy molecules? Carbon, Holmium, Cobalt, Lanthanum, Tellerium—or ChoCoLaTe.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
Not many people liked the new tree I planted.
It wasn’t very poplar.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What did Abel yell to his brother when he noticed a storm coming?
Hurry, Cain!!
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
Wind turbines don’t talk about much. They just shoot the breeze.
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
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