What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror!
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
Why did the chicken cross the river?
To get to the otter side
Do you know what is the actual difference between hell and hill? It is only a fine line.
What do you call a gestalt consciousness of plants?
A chive mind.
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
What should you do if it starts raining cats and dogs?
Please seek shelters.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
Does anyone remember the joke about the sodium deposits? Na.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
Are you squiding me right now?
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
All you need is a good dose of vitamin sea.
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Have a gneiss day! This is one of the simplest rock puns, but it is certainly a gneiss way to start your day out right!
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
Beach, please.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
General: "Fire at will!"
Soldier: "Which one's Will?"
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
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