Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What does rain wear to a fancy dinner party? A rainbow-tie.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
The other day a tree asked for my help with kindling a grass route movement.
I said I wood because it's got a lot growing for it.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What did the lightning say to the fireworks?
"Hey! You stole my thunder."
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What does a mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra, naturally.
Why are mountains not just funny? Because they are hilarious.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What do poplars bring to war? They bring their infan-tree.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
When you get a rainbow after the rain at least you are moving in the bright direction.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
Salty but sweet.
I've always considered mountain plateaus to be the highest forms of flattery.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
The cloud hailed from the sky kingdom.
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
A tree's limbs fell off in a storm, now it's an amputree.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
Water you doing?
What do you call a snowman party?
A snowball.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
The lake did not like the river because it felt that the river was not very lake-able.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Did you hear about the cows struck by lightning?
They were completely cattletonic!
If you drop your white shirt in the Red Sea, what will it become?
Wet
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.