Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
Why is the world so diverse? Because it contains alkynes of people.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
My wife and I went hiking and got lost. I lost my temper and she was so upset she threw the map at me.
Now I know where we stand.
The police officer went to the crime scene and he saw that there had been a murder in the dense grasslands. Guess, we could call it a grass-assination.
What type of fruit includes Barium and double Sodium? BaNaNa.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
What element comes from Norse mythology? Thorium.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
Why did the sapling go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling a little green.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
There was once a mountain biker who murdered everyone in his path because he was a clinical cycle-path!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do you give to a sick citrus tree to make it feel better? Lemon aid.
What do you call an English rock band playing in the mist? Foghat.
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.
She said, "It's reindeer."
Why were the herbs not fully grown yet? They didn't have enough thyme!
What did the thunderstorm say to the lightning rod?
You'll never catch me, copper!
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
What happens if someone chucks a rock at you? You hit the rock’s bottom.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
I'm debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It's row v. wade.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
How does the weather tie its shoes? Witha rainbow!
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
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