What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the vegan wear to the beach?
A zucchini!
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Girls just wanna have sun.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
What did the sea say to the river? You can run but you can't tide.
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
How do you describe an acorn in one sentence? In a nutshell, it is an oak tree.
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
I was surprised when I saw a man get struck by lightning.
The man was shocked as well.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
As I am walking towards my classroom, I get to know that my miss-is-sippi-ng my glass of water.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
My boss has just fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
Oh well!! That's the end of my Korea.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
Why was the tree so embarrassed during the winter? After her leaves fell, she felt naked.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
Two rocks at the bottom of a mountain. First rock: Avalanche!
Second rock: Ha! I'm not gonna fall for that again!
What do you call an indoor plant?
An intro-vert
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
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